lets start a swedish sibling band together
You're earring is so big in my mouth
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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