she woke up with a sticky ear
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
