Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Too much gin, very little bucket
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize