I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
