okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize