Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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