I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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