i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
