this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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