You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
