I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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