my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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