Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
