Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
