Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
