He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
