remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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