this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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