bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
