Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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