I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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