Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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