Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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