i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize