and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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