Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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