She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
