I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
