I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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