Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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