i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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