i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
