You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
