The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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