you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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