i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
as a side note pls kill me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
