Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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