...so i touched it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
