dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
