I got chris browned last night
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
