the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize