we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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