NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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