I'm gonna have a badass scar
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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