the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Someone signed my nipple.
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