Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
