Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Enjoy the penises
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
