I showed him my bush... on skype.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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