how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
