Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
