The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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