If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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