What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
