Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
