the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
