Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize