He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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