walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
