Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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