I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
