3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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