Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come see our sink grown plant.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Randomize
