Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
