Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
