called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
handjob tips. give me some.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
