Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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