Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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