drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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