Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
