Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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