I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
