Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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