so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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